Meditation and depression are two subjects we should be talking about more in the same sentence. Mindfulness meditation can help with depression.
One of my favorite moments during a particularly challenging yoga class was when my teacher, while encouraging us to hold a very difficult pose for an extended period of time, laughed and also encouraged us to remember that nothing lasts forever. As on the mat, so it goes in life, but during the difficult moments, it’s easy to lose sight of this. If the difficult moments stretch into longer periods of time, then it can become even more challenging to keep perspective.
Often when we feel sadness, pain or other challenging feelings or sensations, our impulse is to either turn away from these feelings or to begin having negative thoughts about ourselves for having the sad feelings. If we can learn to not turn away and to not send ourselves the second arrow of judgment for having difficult feelings, we typically experience less suffering. The alternative becomes being present with the difficult emotions or sensations, investigating them, and attempting to understand their message or their gift. If we can learn to allow the difficult feelings without bracing against them, we may experience less suffering.
But what happens when suffering feels unbearable? I realize that it’s not a popular topic for a blog, but suicide is happening all around us at an alarming and increasing rate. I realize a lot of people don’t want to think about it, read about it, or talk about it, but it’s one of those taboo topics that we all need to become more aware of so that if someone we care about is in danger, or if we ourselves feel in danger, we know how to get them or us help. Meditation and depression should be a part of this conversation.
Some of us are fortunate to have never been touched personally by suicide, but many of us have. When I sat to think about it, I recalled knowing six people who died from suicide and four who attempted. Teens and adults over the age of 65 are at higher risk than the general population, and gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered youth at are a higher risk than heterosexual teens. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide was the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. in 2007. According to a policy brief titled “Losing the Battle: The Challenge of Military Suicide,” “the VA estimates that a Veteran dies by suicide every 80 minutes.” Suicide among Veterans is now being called an epidemic.
How can we each learn to be present with our own pain and in turn increase our capacity for being present with the pain of others who are suffering? It’s difficult to be present with pain, and our tendency is to turn our backs on their pain in much the same way that many of us are accustomed to turning from our own pain. We want to hide from it or fix it. Pema Chodron has this to say: “The only reason we don’t open our hearts & minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly & compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident & fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes.”
Though addressing all of the issues related to suicide is a much more complex issue than can be handled in this blog post, we can all have some impact on our own suffering and the suffering in the world by spending five minutes every day in a loving-kindness meditation. With a tenderness and compassion toward yourself as though you were your only child, silently in your heart whisper to yourself, “May I dwell in the heart. May I be free from suffering. May I be healed. May I be at peace.” Silently whisper these words of kindness to yourself several times. Then imagine someone you know who is experiencing suffering. Silently in your heart, whisper to this person, “May you dwell in the heart. May you be free from suffering. May you be healed. May you be at peace.” Now imagine this whole world in need of healing. Silently in your heart whisper, “May all beings dwell in the heart. May all beings be free from suffering. May all beings be healed. May all beings be at peace.”
Try to be a little kinder to everyone that you meet. You never know what story they are living. If you are suffering, try to remember that this, too, shall pass. As with that brutal yoga pose, nothing lasts forever. Suicide is preventable. Depression, anxiety, and PTSD are treatable, and you’re not alone. If you’re coming out as a LGBT youth, you’re not alone. There are thousands of other LGBT youth coming out too, and hundreds of thousands of us who made it through a painful adolescence. Support is available. If you feel like hurting yourself or killing yourself, call one of the hotlines listed below. Reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, teacher, minister, who can help you get immediate professional assistance. Consider working with a therapist who is skilled in meditation and depression treatment.
If you know someone who is suffering, reach out and try to offer them support. Get familiar with the risk factors and warning signs of suicide. Keep in mind that the majority, but not all, of people who suicide exhibit warning signs. If you know someone who is suffering, let them know that you are available if they want to talk. If they come to you, really practice listening, and then help to get them connected with professional support by calling one of the resources listed below. Click this link and follow these guidelines when dealing with someone who is suicidal. If someone you know is actively threatening to harm or kill themselves, or if you feel like you want to hurt or kill yourself, in the U.S. call 911. If you live outside of the U.S., call your local emergency services phone number.
Suicide Prevention Resources in the U.S.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and Veteran’s Crisis Line 800-273-8255
Confidential Veterans Chat: Text 838255 to Get Help NOW
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered Youth Suicide Hotline 866-4-U-TREVOR
Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support www.suicide.org
Online support forum for people who have lost loved ones to suicide http://www.suicide.org/suicide-survivors-forum.html