If we don’t learn how to break a habit, we remain at risk for staying stuck in unhealthy habits that contribute to our suffering.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” –C.G. Jung
When we find the same painful story repeating in our life, it’s useful to pause and identify the narrative themes of the story. As we bear witness to these repeating themes, we can begin to unravel from them and rewrite our story. We can become consciously aware of our unconscious habitual patterns and begin to disengage from them. We have the power to see the truth of these patterns and to choose something different.
How to Break a Habit
- Practice mindfulness. When we see ourselves clearly, we have the freedom to change. Try to take a step back from the habit to observe your impulses and habits with kindness and interest. Try to have compassion for your previous choices while committing to try to learn to make choices that are more aligned with your intentions.
- Clearly identify your intentions.
- Use mindfulness to ride the wave of the impulse to repeat the habit when it arises. Imagine surfing the urge to act on the impulse, and wait. Imagine the impulse as a wave– rising, swelling, cresting, and falling. Keep breathing.
- When the impulse decreases in intensity, try to identify the need behind the impulse. See if you can identify two healthy responses to the need. (example: Need: I’m hungry and need something to eat. Response: identify a healthy food choice).
- If you repeat the same habit that creates suffering, whisper to yourself, “forgiven, forgiven.” Remind yourself of your intentions. Commit to make effort to try to make a different choice in the future. Let it go, and move on.
As you practice how to break a habit, know that every commitment is followed by imperfect action. Beating up on yourself only makes the process more difficult. Try approaching yourself with kindness. Step boldly into your power, exercise your freedom of choice, and choose the direction that your life will take.