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Mindfulness

Healing from Self-Criticism

Self-criticism can have a negative impact on our health and wellbeing. It creates stress and negatively affects our mood and self-esteem.

The nature of the mind is sometimes to evaluate ourselves or our circumstances with negative critical commentary. By practicing mindfulness, we become aware of this tendency, and this awareness gives us the freedom to choose something different.

We can begin to heal from self-criticism by practicing lovingkindness and self-compassion. If you’re not quite sure how to direct this energy toward yourself, imagine how you would send loving-kindness and compassion to someone for whom you care deeply who was suffering. Perhaps you would give a hug, imagine holding them in your heart, or whisper reassuring words to them.

Now try turning this expression of loving-kindness and compassion toward yourself and your own circumstances. It may feel awkward at first, but keep practicing and see if you notice a sense of ease, peace, and self-acceptance begin to grow.

You can also practice loving-kindness meditation by repeating the meditation phrases to yourself: May I dwell in the heart. May I be free from suffering. May I be at peace. May I be healed.

We can also bring mindful awareness to notice the moments that we are engaging in self-criticism, pause, take some slow, deep breaths to reset our nervous system, recognize our common humanity, and say something kind to ourselves.

The difference between misery and happiness depends on what we do with our attention. –Sharon Salzburg

It takes time and practice to undo habits of treating ourselves mercilessly. Contrary to popular belief, treating ourselves with lovingkindness and compassion does not decrease motivation or productivity. We can be kind and compassionate toward ourselves and still hold ourselves accountable to our commitments, still meet our intentions and goals, and still remain motivated and productive.

Just for today, try treating yourself with lovingkindness and compassion, and notice what happens. Practicing lovingkindness and compassion can facilitate a greater sense of peace, happiness, wellbeing, and resilience.

Jen Johnson is a mindfulness teacher, coach, and therapist. She teaches mindfulness for wellness, resilience, and creativity. Jen has been teaching mindfulness for 30+ years.

Set up a free 15-minute mindfulness coaching consultation with Jen Johnson.

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