In mindful lovemaking, we slow down to be present with what arises in the present moment. Mindfulness is awareness of the present moment without judgment. It’s about slowing down to be aware of what’s happening in this moment, and the next, and the next. It’s about noticing sensations, feelings, and thoughts that arise and relating with them with an attitude of non-judgment.
Try really being in the present moment during your next sexual encounter with your partner. If you’re not partnered, or your partner is not into it, try it during your next sexual encounter with yourself. Explore your body or your partner’s partner’s body with slow, deliberate touch, noticing the sensations that arise in your own body as you touch yourself or your partner, and allowing your partner to notice the sensations that arise in her/his body.
See if you can have the lovemaking be about being in the moment, loving your partner through touch, and being aware of the sensations rather than having it be about a race to the finish. Keep breathing. Savor the experience of pleasant sensations and the feelings of mindful lovemaking, loving and being loved by your partner.
So she thoroughly taught him that one cannot take pleasure without giving pleasure, and that every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance, every last bit of the body has its secret, which brings happiness to the person who knows how to wake it. She taught him that after a celebration of love the lovers should not part without admiring each other… —Herman Hesse