Are you afraid of being happy? If you find yourself saying that you want your life to be a certain way—that you want to be happy, feel well, or create a fulfilling career—but you find that your actions sometimes result in the opposite of what you say that you want, you may be afraid of feeling happy.
Pause for a moment and consider what your life might be like if you felt happy. Perhaps you imagine it would be amazing! Or perhaps you imagine you would then have to face your uncertainties, low self-esteem, and fears about moving forward toward what you really want. Perhaps unconsciously it feels easier to just stay stuck. Or maybe you’re afraid that if you feel happy, it would suddenly all be ripped out from under you and hurt worse than if you’d never been happy or well in the first place.
You can begin to overcome this fear of feeling happy and well by starting small. Choose something small to enjoy and see if you can allow yourself to fully immerse in the experience of feeling happy and well. Delight in a beautiful sunrise or sunset, savor your favorite food or a glass of cool water, or enjoy playing with a cherished pet. Bring awareness to the sensations, feelings, and thoughts that arise as you allow yourself to feel really happy. Then imagine these good sensations, feelings and thoughts expanding, getting bigger and more intense. Now imagine soaking them up like a sponge, absorbing the good experience into you your entire being. Pause and savor the feelings of happiness and well-being, and then take a few moments throughout the day to recall the experience. Keep practicing this, and watch your feelings of happiness increase and your fear decrease.
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. –Dalai Lama
UPCOMING EVENTS
1. Check out Dr. Rick Hanson’s upcoming yearlong online course, The Foundations of Well-Being. I’m a big fan of Dr. Hanson’s courses and books (Buddha’s Brain, Just One Thing, Hardwiring Happiness) and an enthusiastic affiliate for this course. Though the courses are for anyone, they may be of particular interest to psychotherapists and healthcare workers.