Self-esteem is how we see and value ourselves based on our beliefs about ourselves. Because our brains have a negativity bias, we are highly skilled at recognizing what is wrong with us. Some of us are skilled at reviewing our areas of challenge over and over until we feel really badly about ourselves. Try to remember that what we rest our attention on grows.
When we have thoughts about our good qualities and our successes, the brain builds new structures around that awareness, which makes it easier for us to have more positive thoughts about ourselves. Just for today, try bringing awareness to your habit of focusing on what you perceive as wrong with you or where you perceive you have failed.
Try to shift your attention to really focus on one of your good qualities or on something that you’ve been doing well lately. Notice what it feels like in your body, heart and mind when you focus on the good in yourself. See if you can allow your attention to rest on something good in yourself for about two minutes and just soak in the good feelings that this experience generates. And remember, what we rest our attention on grows. We can increase self-esteem and resilience by changing how we perceive ourselves and developing healthier beliefs about ourselves based on our goodness.
If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.
Masaru Emoto
Jen Johnson is a mindfulness coach and therapist. She teaches meditation for healing, creativity, and resilience. Contact Jen Johnson to schedule a mindfulness coaching session.