Dealing with difficult thoughts by approaching our inner experience with mindfulness, with kindness and curiosity, can support our wellbeing. Difficult thoughts can lead to difficult mental states — anger, hatred, resentment –and take us out of the present moment. How many moments have we all struggled with difficult thoughts that lead us to get entangled in an unproductive, or even harmful, mental swirl?
We can begin by noticing the moments that we are entangled in unwholesome thoughts — thoughts that perpetuate stress, anger, hatred, anxiety, fear. Try stepping back to observe these thoughts with kindness and curiosity and noticing that they are unwholesome thoughts that are leading to unwholesome mental and emotional states.
When we notice unwholesome thoughts, we have a choice. We can continue to be entangled in them, or we can pause, bring curiosity to what led to their arising, use wisdom and discernment to decide whether wise action needs to be taken on our own or someone else’s behalf, and then refocus our attention in a way that supports wellbeing.
Dealing with Difficult Thoughts with Kindness
We can rebalance ourselves and support our wellbeing by then resting our attention on wholesome thoughts that nurture wellbeing. It really is true that whatever we rest our attention upon grows. If you don’t believe me, try noticing the content of your thoughts today and notice how the more you allow the unwholesome thoughts to go on and on, the more they continue and the more you become caught in a feeling of internal swirl.
To recenter your mind on wholesome thoughts, you might try a meditation practice generosity meditation in which you recall a time that you practiced generosity. Recall how you felt in your body, heart and mind. When your thoughts drift back to the unwholesome thoughts, try noticing that with kindness, return your attention to the generosity meditation practice, and notice what happens in your body, heart and mind.
Whatever a person frequently thinks and ponders upon, that will become the inclination of her/his mind. –Buddha
Dealing with difficult thoughts is something that we can all become more skillful at with mindfulness and meditation practice.
Jen Johnson is a mindfulness teacher, coach, and therapist teaching meditation for healing, creativity, and resilience.