Mindful Self-acceptance is a learned skill. One of our most painful habitual patterns as human beings is wanting things to be other than they are. We often turn this habit on ourselves, wanting to be other than we are. Rather than embracing our most wounded places with love, which is truly what is called for, we treat ourselves mercilessly and wish we were different. Perhaps we go so far as to feel hatred toward ourselves. We may even unconsciously encourage others to reject us, we may reject them before they have opportunity to reject us, or we may keep them at a safe distance and feign indifference.
“Until a woman can receive herself, she will unconsciously force others to reject her, despite the fact that her most conscious desire is to be loved.” –Marion Woodman
We can learn to love ourselves by noticing our habits of self-criticism or self-hatred and choosing in these moments to meet ourselves with acceptance, love and compassion. Today, try turning toward your wounded places with lovingkindness and self-compassion, and practice meeting yourself and all of your messiness and imperfection with self-acceptance.
And don’t worry, meeting yourself with lovingkindness won’t keep you from being accountable to yourself. When you are unkind to yourself, it actually makes it more difficult to reach your goals and intentions. Being kind to yourself and practicing self-acceptance can support you in succeeding at meeting your goals. Practicing kindness toward yourself doesn’t mean you can’t decide to grow and try to be a better version of yourself. It simply means that you acknowledge the imperfection of being human, and you meet yourself with kindness.
Would you like to increase a sense of kindness toward yourself? Check out my online course on Mindfulness and Self-Compassion.
Warmly,
Jen