Most of us aren’t taught the art of practicing acceptance unless we have undertaken mindfulness study and practice. We often want what we want, how and when we want it. Basically, we want things to go our way, and when they don’t, we may feel frustrated and become entangled in wanting things to be other than they are. We not only waste a lot of time and energy wanting things to be otherwise that we have no power to change; we also create suffering for ourselves. Practicing acceptance can bring us increased peace.
Practicing acceptance, we acknowledge how things are in this moment and practice meeting whatever is here with kindness and curiosity.
Acceptance is an acknowledgement of how things are in the present moment. It doesn’t mean that we roll over and give up a sense of agency in our lives. It means that we practice the wisdom of discernment. When there are things that we can do try to change a situation, we take wise action rather than continuing to complain about it and wish it would magically change. When there is nothing we can do to change a situation, we acknowledge how things are in the present moment and practice acceptance. We soften and release the resistance. We ask ourselves, “Given how things are, now what?”
Try to notice when you feel frustrated and start to want people, places, or circumstances to be other than they are. Pause. Take a deep breath. Assess whether this is something that you can do to try to create change by making a change request, lobbying for a change of regulations or process, or attempt to create change through some other means. If the answer is yes, make a plan to take action toward that change. If the answer is no, try practicing acceptance of how things are and begin to consider how you can adapt to the situation.
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mindful Journaling: Try sitting down with your journal and a pen. Begin with a brief awareness of breathing meditation. Try to recall a moment in which you practiced acceptance. See if you can recall what it felt like in your body, heart, and mind. Take a deep breath in, and let it go. Open your eyes, and then write about the recalled moment of practicing acceptance. Write about what you felt in your body, heart, and mind in that moment and in the present moment as you recall it.
If you’d like more experience with practicing acceptance and other mindfulness principles and practices, check out my Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) online course.