Longing can become one of our most painful unconscious habits. In longing, we want something to be other than it is, we want someone to be other than they are, we want to be close to someone who doesn’t want to be close to us, we want a material object, a particular food, or a particular mind state or feeling state.
I wanted it all: the moment and the elongation of the moment, and then another moment, and the cumulative pleasures of an intensifying, building content. – Carole Maso
We convince ourselves that if we get what we want, we will have lasting happiness. It’s not the object of our wanting that causes us to feel suffering, and, as much as we would like to believe that it is so, getting what we want won’t bring us lasting happiness. The next time you feel yourself wanting, longing, or craving, try shifting the focus from the object of your desire to the wanting itself. Pause. Breathe. Try accepting things just as they are in this moment. See if you can uncover what lies underneath the longing.
Jen Johnson is a meditation teacher and counselor. She teaches meditation for healing and creativity. Jen has been teaching meditation for 30+ years. Learn more about working with Jen.