True intimacy is an experience of deeply seeing and being seen, knowing and being known. It is built on a firm foundation of honesty, presence, and trust. In order to experience intimacy with another, we must be willing to become intimate with ourselves, with our own experience.
We experience the world through sensations in the body, feelings, and thoughts. Try taking a moment to check in with yourself each morning and inquire, “What is the state of my body, heart, and mind?” Grow to know yourself intimately, and then courageously gradually allow someone to see your authentic self.
After gazing into the eyes of your own heart and remaining present with compassion, you will be able to hold a steady gaze into the eyes of your loved one and experience this deep and mutual seeing and knowing of one another.
The opposite of loneliness is not togetherness. It’s intimacy.
Richard Bach
Try meeting yourself and then others with mindfulness and compassion. When you notice judgment arising toward yourself or others, try taking a step back to observe it with kindness, then ask yourself, “How can I apply nonjudgmental and compassion to this situation?”
When we practice meeting ourselves and others with mindful awareness and compassion, true intimacy begins to grow. We experience a greater sense of trust in ourselves and others, and the relationship continues to deepen and grow. Approaching our relationships with mindfulness and compassion, we cultivate a greater sense of peace, ease, and wellbeing, and this, too, fosters healthier relationships.
Jen Johnson is a mindfulness coach and therapist teaching meditation and creativity for healing and resilience. Click here to learn more about mindfulness coaching with Jen.