Emotional coping is a skill that all of us can learn with practice. Feeling states tend to come and go. When we learn to cope with difficult emotions states skillfully, we may minimize their tendency to overshadow everything. It’s not the events in our lives that cause our suffering but our reaction to those events. The way to begin skillful emotional coping is to practice bringing awareness to emotional states.
Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days. –Kris Carr
Try checking in several times each day and noticing the state of the heart or emotional body. Inquire within, “What am I feeling?” and see if you can name the feeling. Naming the feeling activates an area of the brain that begins to calm you.
Then inquire, “Where am I feeling it in the body?” Scan the body to try and identify where this feeling state is expressing in the body. Next inquire, “What is the quality of the sensations?” Is there tightness? Throbbing? Heat? Coolness? Now try to rest the attention on the sensations in the body and notice whether they increase in intensity, decrease or remain the same.
When the mind wanders to evaluative thinking about the feeling or situation, see if you can gently bring the attention back to being with the sensations. Feelings are like waves—they rise, swell, crest and fall. Try to ride the waves of emotions rather than becoming entangled in them, and notice what happens.
Jen Johnson is a mindfulness teacher, coach, and therapist, photographer, and writer. She teaches meditation for healing, creativity, and resilience. Jen teaches Mindful Journaling for Resilience workshops online. Jen has been teaching mindfulness for 30+ years. Learn more about working with Jen.