Do you have a fear of getting better? Is there something that you’re struggling with, physically, emotionally, or mentally, that holds you back? Does this struggle also keep you from doing something that you fear?
Take a moment to imagine what your life would be like if the thing that you’re struggling with wasn’t there anymore. What would it feel like to be free? What would it feel like to be healed from the physical, emotional, or mental struggle?
Often what arises when I ask someone these questions is a fear of the uncertainty. Human beings are creatures of habit, and at times we would rather hang on to the suffering than to release it, because the suffering is at least known and familiar.
If you’re wrestling with an injury or an illness, are you doing what your healthcare practitioner has recommended for your healing?
If you’re suffering from heartbreak, are you taking steps to balance the pain with joy? Are you practicing acceptance, acknowledging the loss and the pain, allowing yourself to express the feelings when the waves come, and also asking yourself, now what?
If you’re suffering from anger and resentment toward someone for hurting you, are you practicing forgiveness, lovingkindness and compassion meditation, or are you swirling in the resentment? Someone once told me that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiveness doesn’t condone another person’s harmful behavior. Practicing forgiveness brings us peace.
When I feel anger toward someone, I try to allow the anger, spend time understanding it, and express it if it seems helpful. Then I try to practice letting it go. If it still doesn’t release, I send the person I’m feeling anger toward lovingkindness and compassion by repeating these phrases: May you dwell in the heart. May you be free from suffering. May you be healed. May you be at peace. I’m not sure if it helps them or not, but it nearly always helps me to feel better.
What are you holding onto that wants to be expressed and released? How is the holding on to it causing you harm? How is the holding onto it keeping you feeling safe? Do you have an unconscious fear of getting better?
Sometimes it’s more comfortable to sit still in the known realm of feeling unwell than to take responsibility for our own well-being and move closer to living our full potential. Fear arises that may include fear of responsibility, fear of the unknown, fear of not being able to live up to our own or others’ expectations. If we take steps toward living mindfully and well, and we actually increase our sense of well-being, then we lose our excuse for not taking action toward living our full potential.
Try to remember that change is a gradual process, and well-being is an ever evolving state of being. Take it one step at a time. Trust that as you deepen your mindfulness practice, you will grow your capacity to continue to take action in your life as you more skillfully relate with fear. Practice believing in your capacity to change and succeed. What small step can you take today in the interest of your own well-being?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.–Marianne Williamson